Top 10 Games of 2013

10. Omerta - City of Gangsters

There simply aren't enough good mafia-themed games out there. This one succeeds where so many have failed by being more of a strategy game than an action game. I usually describe it to others as a mafia-themed XCOM. You have to build up your criminal empire from practically nothing. You start out by setting up some illegal distilleries and speakeasies, and work your way up to casinos and insurance rackets. It even has a decent story mode. That's far better than I can say for something like Mafia II.

9. FarCry 3: Blood Dragon

This game is just funny. It really doesn't need to do anything else. The silly weapons and satisfying gameplay are just icing on the cake. Remember Blood Dragon, winners don't do drugs.

8. BioShock Infinite

Sorry, I was too busy ogling Elizabeth's totally hot corset. I guess the game was good or whatever.

7. Euro Truck Simulator 2

Phew, this game is just barely a 2013 game (remember, the release date only matters if it's America). If you were to tell me that I would have so much fun driving trucks up and down Europe, I probably would've believed you since I enjoy sim games like these. I confess, this game isn't for everyone, but I sure had a lot of fun with it.

6. Super Mario 3D World

They should've just named this game Super Mario Bros 3: 2. Everything about it made my eyes glaze over as it reminded me of the greatest Mario game ever made. This game has every potential to be one of the great ones. It has intuitive controls, old-school gameplay, and is fun. Plus, any Mario game that lets you play as Princess Peach and Rosalina is sure to be a crowd-pleaser. If I have to complain about anything, it's the constant annoying cat sounds every character makes.

5. Tales of Xillia

I generally do not like JRPGs, so for me to actually play one to completion says something about how good it is. I've been sitting here for several minutes trying to quantify how this game differs enough from others in its genre for me to like it. I guess it's because I always felt like I was moving forward. In other JRPGs, I felt like I had to hang back and grind at certain points in order to proceed, and I hate how that breaks flow. This one, with its active combat and reasonable level progression, never had that feeling. And I loved it for that.

4. Tomb Raider

This game impressed me much more than I would've expected. This was the first Tomb Raider game I ever played, and it felt like it did everything right. Everything about it kept me engrossed. The great controls, the visceral story events, the beautiful graphics, and the gradual improvements in character were all impressive. The only thing that kept this game from scoring higher was that stupid parachute scene. I must've skewered myself fifteen times trying to get passed that dumb event. There was much taking of the Lord's name in vain that day.

3. Pokemon X

I haven't felt this good about a new Pokemon game since HeartGold and SoulSilver came out (and those hardly count since they were just remakes). The 3D, Pokemon Stadium-like battle system added a new level of immersion that just felt missing from newer games. But most important was the new and improved Exp. Share item. Holy crap, I don't know how I played these games without it. With this item, a portion of battle experience is shared with all of your active Pokemon, which allows you to avoid the groan-inducing grind involved with keeping your main set at roughly the same level. Oh, and moving diagonally and sitting in chairs is cool too or whatever.

2. Grand Theft Auto V

I've heard more than a few people complain about GTA5's story and how it's somewhat incoherent. But, for me, this game was not really about the story; it was about the characters. You are given three characters, and everything is about how the interact with each other and everyone around them. Franklin and Trevor were great, but I found myself especially attached to the character Michael. He's just a middle-aged white guy trying to make his way in a world he increasingly doesn't relate to. And, holy crap, the world. Los Santos is a richly detailed world that, on more than one occasion, I took a break from crazy shenanigans and just walked (that's right, no running or driving) across the city to see and hear all the little things the creators added. The only let down I can think of is that there are too few multipath heist missions, but that's a minute gripe for such an awesome game.

1. Animal Crossing: New Leaf

Of all of the 2013 games I've played this year, this one has the most time clocked (over 150 hours!). I've been a fan of the series for some time now, but I can't say I have played any of the newer ones as much as the Gamecube original. Even then, I haven't touched the game in years. That all changed when this game came out. It improved on the original in all the right ways. As the mayor, it's not just your house you have to dump money into. Now, you have tons of different and expensive town-improvement projects to flaunt your hardly earned wealth over. Tired of the same old furniture colours? Take it over to the consignment store and have it refurbished. Don't know why you bother decorating your house when you're a lonely introvert like myself? Turn on streetpass so any other schmucks will get the chance to see your homestead and silently pass judgement. Want to know what it's like to be hooked on drugs, but don't want to do anything illegal? Play this game. You'll want it every single day. I still do. Excuse me, I gotta get my fix for today.

Honourable Mentions

 

LEGO City Undercover

A fun game that feels like a letdown because of a lack of customization and wonky controls

Saints Row 4

This game could've been amazing if the superpowers didn't make the open-world environment more of a chore to traverse than ever before.

Disney Infinity

I want to love this game and its expertly crafted toys, but I feel the bingo-board item unlocking mechanism makes it hard to get exactly the pieces you want for making an awesome level.

Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD

This game would've made the top ten, but I had to disqualify it for being a remake.

SimCity

DRM issues aside, this game is very fun. Unfortunately, DRM is a very big issue.

Team Fortress 2

As with last year, this game must regretably be disqualified for technically being release in 2007.

Playing with my Woody

He's got a good head on his hands

All smiles

Loves shrinking Violets

To Disney Infinity, and beyond!

My Littler Pony

What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?

Brittany of The Chipettes gives controversial performance at music award ceremony

Jimbo News Network

Brittany, lead singer of The Chipettes and former co-star in Alvin and the Chipmunks, gave a controversial performance during some annual music award ceremony. Much of the outcry stems from the suggestive dress and dance moves put on by the chipmunk adored by many prepubescents and middle-aged men.

“It's just not right for younger fans to see this kind of behaviour,” says Cheryl Newman, head of the group Conservative Religion And Politics. “I mean, I don't let my children watch this so-called 'music television' channel since most of the programming is smut; but if I did, I wouldn't want them to see this!”

The short song-and-dance routine, a mostly high-pitched rendition of another popular act, incorporated several suggestive dance moves, such as: “twerking”, “sporking”, “pelvic thrusting”, and something called “The Creep”. Etymologists remain baffled by the origin of the names, but research is ongoing.

Not all feedback has been negative. Howard Torbin of the left-leaning People Organized for Opportunity and Progress claims that the performance was “an effort by Brittany to shed her 'little girl' image and come out as a mature adult. I can think of no better way to communicate this than by dancing like a stripper. Maybe if she posted some photos of herself smoking, drinking, voting, and buying a lottery ticket.”

Many letters of support have arrived from the furry community, but were discarded as a matter of course.  

Otakon 2013

Dawn of
The First Day
-72 Hours Remain-

Achievement Unlocked: Survived Otakon registration line

 Cosplay goodness after the jump...

Summer 2013 Anime Season, a [early] review

Here's what I'm watching and what I think of it. I'll try and go easy on the poor thalidomide babies I have to work with.

Free!

Gonna need a cold shower when this is over

I honestly thought KyoAni was pulling everyone's leg with the trailer they released some time ago, but I suppose the joke is on us. They released the moé-blob anime with an all male cast. For better or worse, they went ahead and carried over the traditional ditzy character archetypes over to the male cast. Perhaps more surprising is that it's actually really good. Every episode removes more layers [of the plot] and I just want to tear through [the season] to see what matters with all these cutie pies. No homo.

Rozen Maiden [Season III: Rozen of the Sith]

Desu

After the whirlwind first episode, I was worried that this series would be a hurried remake. Fortunately, the second episode cleared things up and proved that it will travel its own path. And that path is apparently two paths: a split timeline plot. All it needs now is a bearded, over-zealous prophet and a floating city in the clouds. But, lets be honest here, every single person watching just wants to see more Suiseiseki, desu.

Blood Lad

Still a better vampire love story than Twilight

Let me say right from the start that this is a very dumb anime. However, it balances it out by not being something it's not. It's dumb, through and through. At least, for now. I have seen plenty of dumb anime screw things up by getting serious for the finale, and consistently failing miserably. This series is funny and doesn't require any brain power whatsoever, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaete mo Omaera ga Warui!

This theme song is awesome

Okay, seriously, what right does this anime have to get a theme song this bad ass. I don't understand a word of Japanese, so I usually skip over opening videos. Considering how they're usually goofy pop music, I still wouldn't watch them if I did. This song makes up for the language gap by being a guttural rock song. Who cares what the vocalist is trying to say? The sound is coming from so deep in the throat that it hardly matters. The loud guitar riffs, the frantic pace, the dark accompanying video. It all adds up to something amazing.

What? What about the anime? Its title is three miles long, so obviously it's going to be rubbish.

The World God Only Knows 3

Didn't feel like watching the episode again to get a screencap, so have a picture of Mio being adorable.

I have to admit that I'm not big on this series. I don't know why. I mean, it has all the trappings of a series I would like: lots of women. This anime, however, just never did it for me. I blame the hook. It's about a geeky guy who plays dating sims. That, by itself, deducts so many points that it may as well not even try. Really now, this is something so over used that it needs to stop. There's appealing to the fans, and then there's just trying too hard. The industry has reached a saturation point with this type of character and the idea just needs to be put to rest.

Sorry, got off track there. I'm watching this series because I watched the previous two for unknown reasons and figured I'd stick it through for another round of tedium.

Ramblings: What makes a good game console?

With all of the hubbub about the next console generation (or the current console generation, depending on when you start counting), I got to wondering just what makes a good console. Games? Functionality? Online capabilities? Ergonomic controllers? After some thought, here is what I came up with.

Short amount of time between turn on and gameplay : This is a gripe I have mostly with modern consoles. When I turn on a console nowadays, it's kind enough to give me enough time to calmly eat a full-course meal while it loads all of its goodies. Considering how consoles never really turn off anymore, why do we have to wait? I'm in a hurry! I got things to do! I want my games to hurry and distract me from all of those things.

No need to phone home : I think the rage towards Xbox One's former always-on policy is well deserved. The last thing I want is for any of my consoles or games to be bricked because the servers they require connections to have been turned off. I'm cool with online games requiring this, for obvious reasons, but hands off my single-player games. Imagine a world where the NES needed to connect to external servers. That thing came out about thirty years ago. I can guarantee those servers would be dead and buried by now.

Four controller ports : The perfect number for split-screen gaming. Also, more games need split-screen multiplayer!

Wireless/Wired controllers : As of right now, the PS3 has the best controller. You can play wirelessly for those times when you're lying upside down on the sofa. But, when the battery gets low, you can sit up, plug in the controller, and keep playing without any interruption (well, aside from the act of plugging it in). This also allows for indefinite marathon play without the need to hot-swap batteries.

External save game backups : This is the main thing I wanted to write about. The ability to save a game on something other than a cartridge, console, or proprietary memory card is such a big deal to me. I have lost many save files to faulty consoles (I'm looking at you, Wii). However, I was also able to rescue some save files because I could copy and store them elsewhere (again, Wii). Memory cards are a nice middle ground, but I'd like something standard, like SD cards, so I could spread the backups around.

Speedy menus : If a console is going to have a main menu, accessing it should be quick and painless. The Xbox 360 has become my favourite console from the last generation for this very reason. I hit the menu button on the console and instantly have the main menu. While the boxy, advert-laden home menu is... unwieldy, to be generous, the main menu is quick and gives me everything I need. The PS3, on the other hand, is slow and unintuitive.

Stability : As of this writing, I have burned through one PS3 and two Wiis. Meanwhile, the NES, Genesis, N64, and other consoles I've had since grade school are still in perfect, functional order. This includes putting them through several ordeals such as: multiple household moves, countless rage quits, spotty usage in later years, and, in the N64's case, having a box of books dropped on it. Is it too much to ask for a console that works perfectly forever and ever? Or, at least, for more than a decade?

Good games : Console manufacturers really have little to do with this (unless you're Nintendo), but having great games will always sway people, myself included, more than any wizz-bang features.

That about sums it up. Maybe I'll do a part two if I think of more things. Console producers, get on it!

Full disclaimer: My favourite console was the Nintendo 64. Crappy controller, but nothing got between you and the amazing library of games.

First!

Welcome to Jimbo's Ramblings 2, a blog where I attempt to be a comedian and/or critic. This is the replacement for my old Xanga blog which has, regrettably, died along with Xanga itself. I've had that old site since high school and, looking back, it kinda shows. With Xanga's unfortunate passing, I've decided to start over here on Blogger with the sequel. Hopefully I can have the sequel surpass the original. The plan to do that is simple: organization!

Rather than post willy-nilly, I will try and keep everything organized into several series. There will be no fixed schedule, but hopefully it will give the blog a sense of purpose. Those series will include:

Jimbo News Network - These posts will primarily poke fun at current events or just present something in a ridiculous fashion.

____, a review - All reviews will fall under this heading.

Cooking with Jimbo - Where I give not so serious tips on cooking certain dishes

Photo Tour - For the rare occasions I decide to take photos, I'll post them here with some sort of commentary to make it entertaining.

Blast from the Past - Reposts of entries I thought were good from ye olde Xanga

Jimbo's Ramblings - All other random thoughts that don't fit anywhere else (See? Nothing says organization like a miscellaneous section!)

Serious Business - I'm just joking. I'd never post about anything serious here.

This list is subject to change as I make things up going along. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited.