Top 10 Games of 2018

Yeah, 2018 was alright, I guess.

Gris by JellyEnvy

10. Detroit: Become Human

This game is a mixed bag. It is a story-driven, choose-your-own-adventure with some unique gimmicks that break it from the crowd. For one, it's not a visual novel, so it receives lots of bonus points for requiring less reading than a 200-level English literature class. It also shows each of your decisions in an all-inclusive flowchart, displaying percentages of players that chose each of the available options. It was very refreshing to see that, in some spots, not all of humanity was transparently evil.

The story follows three robot characters as they navigate and make decisions on how to live their life in a pseudo-Apartheid society. Unfortunately, only two of the storylines are interesting. Painter-bot and Detective-bot had very insightful and intertwined plots, but Housewife-bot was a complete downer and barely connected with the overall picture.

I also had difficulty playing the game without constantly singing Kiss's Detroit Rock City.

9. Seers Isle

Seers Isle is another delightful game from the studio Nova-Box, the creators of another game I enjoyed: Along the Edge. Both games are choose-your-own-adventure types. You read through the stories, and, at key points, make decisions for your protagonist. Then, you immediately start second-guessing yourself, reload your save, and change your decision. This process repeats itself several times for every decision point until you finally say "f--- it", and just ride the wave as that one decision results in your favourite character dying a gruesome death.

The characters are interesting, the setting is beautiful, and the story is mysterious. A perfect mix for me to lose myself for a few hours.

8. Blossom Tales: The Sleeping King

I acknowledge that this game technically released last year. However, since its Switch release was in December and I didn't play it until this year, I made the autocratic declaration to include it in the 2018 list.

Blossom Tales is, basically, a Link to the Past clone, and I mean that in the best possible way. It takes the exact same controls and gameplay, then places the player in a new world with a new set of items to collect. It also features a delightful framing device of an old grandpa telling the story of the game's protagonist to his grandchildren. It's sweet, and functionally exists to remind the player of where they were in the game since they last played.

It is also blessedly short. It's sometimes nice, in my busy life of rampant decadence, to play a game I can see through to completion in a single weekend.

7. Spider-Man

This game is amazing when you get to play as Spider-Man!

This game sucks when you get to play as anyone other than Spider-Man!

6. Ni No Kuni 2

Ni No Kuni 2 is best summed up by its opening cinematic. The president of the United States is riding to a UN meeting when a nuclear device detonates, blows up the city, and kills him. The president then awakens in a magical fantasy land, and decides to help a small, furry child form a new hereditary dictatorship after a coup overthrows the kid's royal father.

5. Unavowed

I believe it was a Rock Paper Shotgun review that turned me toward Unavowed. I don't remember the exact phrasing, but they said something along the lines of "if your favourite part of Mass Effect was listening to banter between squadmates, then you will like Unavowed." By golly, they were right! They took that model (interesting characters talking about current situations) and put it into a point-and-click adventure that, thankfully, does not sink into the mire of convoluted adventure game logic.

Don't get to bang any of the NPCs, though. Gotta dock some points for that.

4. Pokemon: Let's Go Eevee

Eevee is adorable. The next game can just be Pokemon: Oops! All Eevee, and I would be okay with that.

3. Stonehearth

Fun fact: I actually helped Kickstart this game back during the Harding administration. After all these decades, the game had a formal release this year, and I succeeded in sinking several otherwise productive weekends into it.

2. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Daisy is in Smash. All is right with the world.

1. Gris

 

I cannot think of a game I felt more entranced by in 2018. As soon as I started, I did not want to stop playing Gris. It is a visual marvel to behold. The character motion is smooth and dreamlike. The world designs are distinct. The soundtrack is beautiful. Everything about it enveloped my senses and pulled me into this otherwise simplistic platformer. As I write this paragraph, I'm thinking about sitting down and playing through it again.

Don't get to bang any of the NPCs, though. Gotta dock some points for that.

A Trip to the Grocery Store

I was on the verge of having an aneurysm during my trip to the grocery store this morning. Every part of the journey frustrated me.

It began with the trip there. I needed to travel a little further this time, since my standard food outlet doesn't carry the requisite alcohol for the stew I'm cooking this week. All well and good. Unfortunately, the gods decided the extra distance would be an excellent opportunity to test my patience, as I needed to stop for every… single… stoplight.

When the lights finally deigned to turn green, the drivers in front of me completely forgot how gas pedals work. After a few presidential administrations of me losing my mind, those cars eventually got up to speed, which was approximately five miles under the speed limit, by their reckoning. This resulted, of course, in all of us missing the next traffic light. I could feel the grey hairs forming when I finally reached the grocery store and parked.

Filling the shopping cart was blessedly uneventful. I was cooling down from the ride when I finally reached the checkout line. Naturally, only two lanes were open, so the lines were, at a conservative estimate, thirty miles long. I squeaked my cart to the end of the queue somewhere in Azerbaijan and hunkered down for a long wait. By the time I caught sight of a cashier, I was wizened and malnourished.

My natural impatience was compounding the annoyance from the commute a lifetime ago, but I was finally here. The promised land. The conveyor was within my reach. I was fully prepared to begin unloading my cart, but the lady directly in front of me was very busy leaning against the end, blocking all access. I was going to say something, but my stiff upper lip precluded any formation of actual words with my mouth. I remained silent, and waited. Employing the sunk cost fallacy, I rationalized "what's a few more hours of waiting?"

Then, the lady in front of the lady in front of me did something I am still incapable of grokking. As the cashier was processing her five-hundred shopping carts' worth of goods, she looked over her kingdom and decided that two bottles of Pine-Sol was too extravagant. Rather than hand it to the cashier and say something along the lines of "I don't need this," like some kind of human being, she picks it up and tosses it into one of the hand baskets someone left under the conveyor belt. I leaned against my cart, agog at what I just witnessed. What did she think that basket did? Teleport the goods back to the shelf? Melt the cleaner into its constituent atoms for future integration into the universe? Provide a path to Narnia? Such was the depth of my incomprehension at this middle-aged Hispanic lady's action that I was shouting in my head, "that's it lady! Get me a pillow case! I'm joinin' the Klan!"

At last, my time had come. The cashier began beeping through my future purchases. Being the savvy and caring shopper I am, I already had my reusable grocery bags ready and waiting. I have four, a number which has never failed to comfortably carry a standard week's worth of groceries. In a shockingly blatant display of black magic, the cashier somehow fit all of my groceries into two ultra-dense bags. I was legitimately worried those bags would collapse into a singularity if I added even a single candy bar. I was fully prepared to provide testimony against her in a future witch-burning trial.

I was glad to finally turn my back to the store, but I still wasn't home yet. The ride home broke every last thread of human decency and rational thought. There was a driver in front of me. A very slow driver. I was fairly certain he or she was training to achieve their lifelong dream of being the lead car in a Macy's Day Parade. This car was taking the exact same route as me, down to entering the same apartment complex, so I was stuck behind this car for the entire trip. I'm pretty sure I didn't get home until just before the heat death of the universe.

As I was putting my groceries away, I learned that one of my eggs broke in transit.

I've been curled up crying in the shower for the last five hours.

Top 10 Games of 2017

This has been the Year of Not Enough Time. I have a huge pile of games that I haven't had the chance to play (Wolfenstein 2, Pyre, Neir: Automata, &c.). I have another, similarly sized pile of games I haven't had the chance to finish (Assassin's Creed Origins, Hollow Knight, Tales of Berseria, &c.). 2017 was busy. In spite of that, it was a good year for video games. Here is my Top 10 for 2017.

10. Sonic Mania

It has been a long time, but Sega finally decided to listen to fans and let Sonic return to formula; Sonic Mania is just as fast and fun as Sonic games of yore. Unfortunately, by sticking too close to the source material, it drags in one of the biggest flaws of yesterday that modern games have grown out of: an obsolete lives system. I think back to Rayman Origins and Super Mario Odyssey that did away with the concept of extra lives, resulting in games that flow better and are far less frustrating to play when your time is crunched.

9. Divinity: Original Sin 2

I am starting to warm to modern CRPGs. I confess to not being a fan of older CRPGs, but sometimes the new ones hit the sweet spot. Divinity: OS2 is one of those games. The characters were fascinating, and the choices felt like they mattered. The downside is the game's bugginess, particularly in the late game. It didn’t break the game, but the bugs certainly pulled me out of it.

8. Tales of Berseria

The Tales of series is hit-or-miss for me. I either love them or hate them. This one happened to fall in the "love" column. It adds a nice spin to the standard JRPG formula by making the player characters, ostensibly, the bad guys. It is more intriguing than I anticipated. On the other hand, a lot of them sound like the kind of characters that would come out of an 11-year-old's fanfic. "I'm a loose cannon on a quest for revenge with my demon's left hand!" "I'm a pirate captain; call me The Reaper." "I'm a samurai that will never unsheathe my sword until I meet my True Rival." It's all very cringe-worthy.

7. Mass Effect: Andromeda

I know Mass Effect: Andromeda gets a lot of crap, but I feel it is undeserved. I think its biggest fault is that it has to compare itself to the might of the original Mass Effect trilogy. I, personally, see it in a better light when I compare it to the original Mass Effect. Neither game was perfect, but they were still fun, and set an amazing stage for future adventures. I can only hope EA doesn't scrap it entirely, but builds off of the groundwork, as they did with Mass Effect 2.

6. Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice

I am only about half-way through this game, but everything I have seen so far is amazing. Steam lists it as an action game, but I consider it more of a walking simulator with occasional fighting. You walk through an absolutely beautiful world filled with death and despair. Adding to that is the main character's psychosis, which the load screen appropriately recommends experiencing with quality headphones. It all adds to a truly spooky experience that never resorts to cheap jump scares.

5. Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle

This game earns Biggest Surprise of 2017. When I first saw the marketing material for a game mixing Mario with Rayman's annoying, minion-like rabbids, I shook my head in disgust. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken us?" Lo and behold, the game came out, and it was amazing. It is a deep, but not crushingly deep, strategy game that gives you just enough challenge to make you think, but not so much that you quit in frustration. All they need to do for perfection is ditch the rabbids altogether and just make it a Mario game. Please and thank you, Ubisoft.

4. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Well now, this game has won nearly every award ever created by mankind. When I glance at the roughly 145 hours I have clocked in the game, I can sort of understand. It is an amazing world to explore and goof around in. However, I don't feel it is the Second Coming of Jesus that many reviewers are declaring. It took me a while to rationalize my feelings, but I eventually come to this conclusion: Breath of the Wild is more a tool for relaxing than for explicitly having fun. There is something calming about exploring the world, but I never found myself waiting anxiously for the next moment I could steal a chance to play. A more appropriate expression would be, "oh, I have a little bit of free time, let me squeeze in a few minutes with Zelda." There's nothing wrong with that, mind you, but it does prevent it from climbing any higher on this list.

3. Assassin’s Creed Origins

It seems Ubisoft's little vacation from the Assassin's Creed series was a good decision. This world is big, and, most importantly, worth exploring. Like Skyrim, there is reason to go off the beaten path and explore various nooks and crannies. The new Ancient Egypt setting is also extremely fascinating. I often find myself walking around and just looking at all the stuff going on in the background. Farmers moving water from trenches, merchants peddling their wares, birds flying around a lily-filled river. It is all very pretty to look at. I am truly looking forward to the upcoming Tourism Mode DLC Ubisoft announced.

2. Super Mario Odyssey

I don't know how Nintendo does it, but they just know how to distill fun into a pure, addictive substance. Super Mario Odyssey is basically a perfect game, and mandates the purchase of a Switch.

1. Hollow Knight

Hollow Knight finally forced me to admit that maybe, just maybe, not all metroidvania games are trash. I am still not entirely sure how it did it. It could be the art style, which is simple yet hauntingly beautiful. It could be the tight controls that flow smoothly from movement to movement. It could be the amazing soundtrack that perfectly fits the setting. It could be the NPCs that are funny and interesting, but never annoying. Maybe it is a combination of everything. Whatever black magic Team Cherry used, Hollow Knight is one of the greatest platformers I have ever played in a long time.

Honorable Mentions

Pokemon: Gold

I played this game a lot when it released for the 3DS, but I must sadly disqualify it for technically being released in 2000.

Stardew Valley

I played this game a lot when it released for the Switch, but I must sadly disqualify it for technically being released in 2016.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

I played this game a lot when it released for the Switch, but I must sadly disqualify it for technically being released in 2011.

Dear Esther: Landmark Edition

I played this game a lot when it released a Landmark Edition on Steam, but I must sadly disqualify it for technically being released in 2012.

If You Had To Pick a Song...

"You are held at gunpoint and forced to recite a song from memory. If you mess up even a single word, you get shot."

Recently, I saw a Facebook post that went something along those lines.

Most of the answers I saw were sensible ones: the national anthem, nursery rhymes, etc. I thought, "nah, that's not me." Here are some of my alternatives.

Smells Like Teen Spirit – Nirvana
If nobody knows the words, they can't prove I'm wrong!

I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
Make them break their vow. Sure, I know all the words, but they'll shoot me anyway just to end my awful singing.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk
The song only has, like, fifteen words. Clarify with the gunman if we only need to know the words, or if the demand requires knowing their order and timing.

All Star – Smash Mouth
No child of the 90s could go more than thirty minutes in their childhood without hearing this song playing somewhere. It's basically engraved in our DNA at this point.

Dragostea din Tei - O-Zone
Why die a nobody, when you can die a meme?

2112 – Rush
We'll see if they have a full twenty minutes to spare.

Nothing
This one is a trick. I keep asking them to clarify the rules until help arrives. Does it have to be a song in English? How long does the song have to be? Where will I get shot? The goal is to stall for time.

End of the World – REM
How about giving me a real challenge, scrub?

Top 15 Games of 2016

In spite of all adversity, 2016 ended up being a good year for video games. Every year, I jot down a list of games I thought were really good, and most years I have to struggle to fill out a Top 10 list. 2016 was the exception. By the end of December, I had so many titles on my crumpled up piece of paper that I needed to expand my list to 15. For those that are outraged, just skip to number 10; you can just pretend it was a Top 10 list all along.

* Games I have not seen through to, at least, story completion.

15. Obduction*

Remember Myst? Remember the vastly superior Riven? Remember the forgettable Myst III? Remember purging all memory of subsequent Myst games from your brain? The reason I unsubtly bring those up is because Obduction is basically one of those point-and-click adventure games from yesteryear. It has that same feeling of being dropped in a strange new world with nothing but your wits and a mouse pointer to guide you. It is a lot of fun... for a while. I have to admit that the ye olde playstyle has not aged well, and the frustration of having to backtrack because you could not find one stupid lever you had to pull to advance has not lessened. I got pretty far into the game, and enjoyed my time doing so, but I doubt I'll ever come back and finish it off.

14. Mafia III*

I heard several complaints about Mafia III being derivative and samey, and there is some merit to that. However, there are times when that is exactly what I want. Give me a game that features the same kind of gameplay I like, while giving it a new setting and coat of paint. It is basically a Grand Theft Auto game set it in the abrasive deep south of the 1960's, and that's just fine! The Grand Theft Auto series is one of the greatest game series of all time, and playing another one of those under a different title is okay in my book, even if The Simpsons did it already.

13. Amplitude

I'm a huge fan of the original Amplitude for the Playstation 2 (in spite of the fact that my original copy was burgled about a year ago). This new game, using the same name for some reason, is more of what is expected: fun and fast-based rhythm gameplay to foot-tapping music. The only thing that kept this game from being higher on the list is the lack of well-known licensed music. Unlike its predecessor, there's no David Bowie, Herbie Hancock, or Run-DMC in this game. It's disappointing. But, hey, at least Freezepop is back!

12. Final Fantasy XV*

I played several Final Fantasy games over the years, but never cared enough for any of them to see through to completion. This one, however, (15, for those counting at home) may be the exception. Admittedly, I have not finished this one either (there's only so much time in a day), but now that the designers have ditched their lame pseudo-turn-based combat system, I might actually enjoy myself enough to see it through.

This games feels much more character-heavy, and I appreciate that. Modern Final Fantasy games have such convoluted storylines, that I have a hard time losing myself in them. By focusing more on the characters – the BFFs Noctis, Prompto, Gladiolus, and Ignis – this game might actually hold my interest long enough to slog through the long runtime.

Unlike most western RPGs, there isn't much freedom of choice in this game. That may be for the best. I know if I had too much choice, I'd probably end up: giving Noctis a comb, given Gladiolus and epic Norwegian death beard, giving Prompto a bullet in the head, and giving Ignis a ring so he'll be my guy-waifu 4ever xoxo

11. Shantae: ½-Genie Hero*

Fun fact: I helped Kickstart this game, so I got it for free! I enjoy the Shantae series and its more laid-back Metroidvania style gameplay. This game even improves upon the formula by giving a world map to jump back and forth between levels, reducing some of the frustration from the series' love of backtracking.

10. Pokémon Sun

The latest entry in the Pokémon series is a true breath of fresh air that it sorely needed. For decades now, each Pokémon game was a carbon copy of the other: defeat eight gym leaders, defeat an evil organization for some reason, defeat the Elite Four. There was some variation with new features that ranged from useless to mostly useless (e.g. growing berries, mega-evolutions, etc.), but the core formula stayed the same.

Pokémon Sun (and, presumably, Pokémon Moon) finally changed the formula. There are no more gym leaders! The player character actually has a reason for defeating the evil organization! It has an actual plot! Okay, it still has an Elite Four for some utterly contrived reason, but at least you get a sweet throne to sit in after finally kicking all of their butts! Pokémon Sun reinvigorated my interest in the series by making it feel new again, and I can only hope they continue this trend.

9. Oxenfree

Ostensibly, Oxenfree is a horror game. For me, it wasn't scary as much as it was a mind-fuck (pardon my language). A group of friends(?) get together on an old, abandoned island, and, lo and behold, spooky stuff starts happening. Unlike an average Scooby Doo episode, there is no predicting what happens next. Every playthrough is different based on choices made by you (or your character; it gets a little difficult to differentiate at times). Oxenfree is a unique experience, and I won't write another word for fear of spoiling anything. Go and play it.

8. XCOM 2

I am terrible at this game. Every mission saw me save-scumming almost every third turn. Every failure taught me a lesson, and I never made that same mistake again (instead, I made all new ones). But, gosh darn it, I was so invested in the story and my rag-tag team of rebels that I couldn't help playing it through to the end.

7. Tyranny

A lot of games pay lip service to the idea of player choice. "Your choices matter", the back-of-the-box marketing may claim. Tyranny is the first game I played that that actually felt true. You play the bad guy (though, not necessarily a bad guy). You are sent by totally-not-the-Dark-Lord-Sauron to conquer the last remaining stronghold of freedom and liberty. The choices you make to take over the lands are weighty, and there is seldom a "good" response. And each choice made weighs on future choices in a very satisfying chain of events. For example, I think I tested out of an entire chapter and boss battle by presenting a solid case in a court of law. Seriously.

6. Planet Coaster

Can I tell the world my dirty little secret? I never played a RollerCoaster Tycoon game beyond the first one. I don't know why, but I never got around to them. Thankfully, it seems like the official series went off the rails (ha!) in later installments. Planet Coaster is a RollerCoaster Tycoon game in all but name, so I figured it was as good a time as any to get back into the genre. You build and manage a theme park. That's it! Real-life hours just fly by! It's very dangerous.

5. Stellaris

It's a 4X game in space. That one sentence alone is enough to make my wallet fall open. Thankfully, Stellaris is one of the good ones.

4. Sid Meier's Civilization VI

It's a 4X game not in space. Maybe that's not enough to necessarily cause my wallet to fall open, but attaching Sid Meier's name to it certainly does. I have hundreds of hours logged in Civilization V (it's my second most played game on Steam!), and I see myself clocking even more with its sixth entry. For me, the Civilization games have always been about role-playing. I pick a civilization and try to put myself into their shoes. Can I conquer the seas as Japan? Can I blitzkrieg as a militaristic Gandhi? Can Poland into space? These are all questions I can answer!

3. Doom

Doom was a surprise. When I read reviews stating that Doom matched old-school gameplay with new-school graphics and polish, I was skeptical. It was too good to be true.

Well, it seems like someone prayed to Satan just right, because the singleplayer campaign of Doom was one of the most fun experiences I had in a shooter for a long time. The action is fast-paced, brutal, and satisfying. The soundtrack is beautiful and appropriate. The replayability is endless. I already beat all of the missions, and I still want to go back and replay them!

I haven't played the multiplayer, and, from what I read about it, I don't want to.

2. Overwatch

With Team Fortress 2 almost a decade old, and the idea of a Team Fortress 3 laughable, Blizzard decided to make their own class-based shooter. In their first new intellectual property in eons, they created an impressive game that helps melt away the hours. And that's just playing the game! Even more hours are lost while perusing the pages upon pages of high-quality Widowmaker/Tracer smut.

1. Stardew Valley

I wish I could include a Harvest Moon or Story of Seasons game on my list. I really do. But I can't. The two series, for me, have plateaued in mediocrity for the last several years. They just don't have the same spark they used to. Stardew Valley is a spiritual callback to these farming simulators and does everything right. It makes the farming more satisfying, and adds automation for late-game progression. It makes the characters and their stories deeper and more nuanced than Harvest/Seasons' twee archetypes. It makes achieving 100% completion difficult, but not impossible.

I always struggle to explain the appeal of farming games like these, but you have to trust me. Stardew Valley is deep and entertaining, and I fear it may've raised the bar impossibly high for future Harvest Moon games.

Honorable Mentions

Team Fortress 2

As much as it pains me to admit, Team Fortress 2 is dying. Recent updates have done little more than dilute the fun I had with the venerable shooter. Much of the blame for that is its attempt to compete with Overwatch. It just doesn't work. They're two different games, and they should've stayed that way. Oh well. It's still looking good for a game that's almost nine years old.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf ~Welcome amiibo~

The best Animal Crossing game got a free update that makes it even better. Now, by using amiibo cards available at many fine retailers, you can make sure your favorite villages can never, ever leave!

Farming Simulator 17

I wanted to add this game to my top list, but I had to disallow it since it's basically the same game as the version that came out in 2013.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – Special Edition –

As amazing as this game is, I had to exclude it because it, technically, came out in 2011.

The Witcher 3: Blood & Wine

I was so close to adding this expansion pack to my official list. It was just that amazingly good! But, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. As much as it felt like a whole new game, it was still just an addition to a game that came out in 2015.

Disney Infinity vs. amiibo

Just in case you were wondering what to get me for my birthday...

Which are bad? Neither
Which are good? Both, but for different reasons.

Disney Infinity

Disney Infinity, the game and all its sequels, sucks. It's fun for a little while, but its novelty quickly wears off as the grind for unlockables sets in (full disclaimer: I only ever played the first game, but it had such a negative effect on me that I've avoided the others). And that's the biggest fault for these things. They only work with one game series! You can buy all the figures you want, but none of them are going to work with your copy of Disney Princess: My FairyTale Adventure. No, not even Darth Vader.

On the other hand, the figures make for great collectibles. Whether Disney, Marvel, or Star Wars, they all share the same cartoony art style. This makes putting them all on display in one place less frustrating. They all have roughly the same form factor and look like they belong together. Pretty soon they might even deserve their own Ikea Detolf.

amiibo

Nintendo's amiibo don't work with just one game; they work with tons of games. Granted, they don't consistently work with games, but you generally guess which figures can work with which games. For example, the Mario amiibo works with every game ever made, while the R.O.B. amiibo just laughs at you and flashes a middle finger on the screen when attempting to use it. The point is, you get much more mileage with amiibo than with those Disney figures.

Each amiibo is made in the style of the game it's coming from. As a result, the designs vary significantly, much to their detriment. I look at my collection of them, and feel nothing but sadness at my attempts to make them look presentable. The Ganondorf has this realistic look that clashes horribly with Pac-Man's goofy look. Meanwhile, the Animal Crossing amiibo are just sitting there smugly being about 4/5ths of the others' size, ruining any kind of symmetry I might desire. And don't get me started on Link's column of piss. That's just nasty.

Top 10 Games of 2015

10. Splatoon

My reaction when making this list and admitting that I didn't like Splatoon
as much as I thought I did.

Splatoon was extremely fun for a while, but I got bored with it. I don't regret buying it, nor the time I spent with it, but at this point I don't see myself playing it much anymore. I do admit, however, that the inklings are absolutely adorable, and I'll probably purchase any and all merchandise that bears even a passing resemblance to them.

9. Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer

I know this game gets a lot of hate for basically being nothing more than a poor imitation of a normal Animal Crossing game, but I'm having a lot of fun with. I've been sitting here for several minutes trying to come up with a rational reason, yet I can't. There's no scoring. There're no achievements. There's no real goal, per se. All that it has is a strangely cathartic interiour design element where you design the homes you want to see.

8. Super Mario Maker

Pipes. I love pipes. I must've created about six decent levels based entirely around pipes. I don't know why. They just seem to make sense to me structurally. Anyway, where was I going with this? I dunno. Super Mario Maker is a lot of fun, even if other users don't use nearly enough pipes in their levels to be any good.

7. Big Pharma

I was pleasantly surprised by this little, indie puzzle game. All you do is build conveyor belts and make money selling drugs! Okay, sure, there are other things, but that's all that matters.

6. Story of Seasons

I always have a hard time when trying to describe this game. I keep starting with something along the lines of "it's a Harvest Moon game...", and then I trail off. That opening is both true and false, and that brings my brain to a screeching halt. It's a great game and all, but I don't know what to do without the Harvest Moon moniker these games used to carry.

5. Just Cause 3

This game does not mess around. It gives you a huge open world. It gives you a means of traversing the world in a quick and satisfying way. It gives you the means (several, in fact) of interacting with (i.e. destroying) that huge world. Why, just last night I had a right ol' good time destroying a huge open-pit mining facility. It was glorious.

4. Assassin's Creed: Syndicate

Probably the prettiest game on the list, Syndicate does an amazing job of rendering the shit-covered streets of Victorian London. It also marked itself as one of the good Assassin's Creed games by remembering that the plot in these games is always rubbish and fills in that gap with interesting, unique characters.

3. Fallout 4

I never really got into the Fallout series. I tried playing the classics, and even tried New Vegas, but none of them really clicked for me. That changed with Fallout 4. I blame the romance mechanic entirely. I'm such a sucker for those things.

2. The Witcher 3

Speaking of game series I never really liked, I could never lose myself in the first Witcher game. No amount of sexy romance collectible cards could fix extremely boring gameplay. Fortunately, The Witcher 3 was fun to play and explore. I frequently had no idea what was going on, plot-wise. But, I eventually pieced together a few salient points. Specifically, I need to rescue pseudo-daughter Ciri, Yennefer is completely unlikable, and Triss is, like, way hot.

1. Cities: Skylines

At last, the horrible drought is over! We have an actual successor to the godlike SimCity 4! Long may it reign!

Honourable Mentions:

Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain

Fun for a while, but a single, grating escort mission basically ruined the game for me. I haven't played it since.

Galactic Civilization 3

A dangerous game for the time-constrained, but it was so similar to its predecessor that I had a hard time losing myself in it.

Pillars of Eternity

A fun CRPG with interesting characters, but my overall distaste for CRPGs eventually won out, and I abandoned it.

Team Fortress 2

Sigh, once again, I have to acknowledge that, in spite of the hours I've poured into this game over the past year, it still came out all the way back in 2008.

2015 Reading Challenge Results

See? I was keeping track!

Well, I couldn't mark all of the boxes on POPSUGAR's reading challenge for last year, but I did the best I could. Without further ado, here are the results!

Total Books Read: 24

Total Pages Read: 7,922

Total Books Read For Challenge: 18

Boxes Checked 29 / 50 (58%)

Challenge Books

The Agony and the Ecstasy – Irving Stone (good)

• A book with more than 500 pages (776 pages)
• A book set in a different country (Italy)
• A book based on a true story (Michelangelo’s Life)
• A book with antonyms in the title
• A book set somewhere you've always wanted to visit (Italy)

Dave Barry Turns 50 – Dave Barry (very good)

• A book with a number in the title
• A funny book
• A book from an author you love that you haven't read yet

Seventh Son – Orson Scott Card (good)

• A book that came out the year you were born (1987)
• A book with magic

Captive Paradise – James L. Haley (okay)

• A nonfiction book
• A book by an author you've never read before

Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov (good)

• A banned book
• A book you started but never finished

Age of Innocence – Edith Wharton (very good)

• A classic romance
• A book by a female author

The Martian – Andy Weir (very good)

• A book that became a movie
• A mystery or thriller

Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster) – Dave Barry (very good)

• A book published this year

Pepper – Marjorie Shaffer (okay)

• A book with a one-word title

The Metamorphosis and Other Stories – Franz Kafka (okay)

• A book of short stories

Spam Nation – Brian Krebs (good)

• A popular author's first book

The Billion Dollar Spy – David E. Hoffman (very good)

• A book a friend recommended

The Emperor of All Maladies – Siddhartha Mukherjee (bad)

• A Pulitzer Prize-winning book (2011, general non-fiction)

So, Anyway... - John Cleese (good)

• A memoir

Behold the Man – Michael Moorcock (very good)

• A book you can finish in a day

Anya's Ghost – Vera Brosgol (okay)

• A graphic novel

4000 Years of Uppity Women – Vicki León (bad)

• A book you own but have never read

Ada's Algorithm – James Essinger (very bad)

• A book written by an author with your same initials (JE)

Non-Challenge Books

These are books I just read for fun, and have nothing to do with the reading challenge.

I, Claudius – Robert Graves (good)

The Orchardist – Amanda Coplin (very good)

Undeniable – Bill Nye (good)

Muhammad – Karen Armstrong (good)

God's Problem – Bart D. Ehrman (bad)

Physics for the Rest of Us – Roger S. Jones (okay)

My Top 15 Books

In alphabetical order, one entry per author. I tried to rank them, but found it too difficult.

The Age of Innocence – Edith Wharton

I originally picked this book up on a whim to fulfill the "classic romance" checkbox on the 2015 reading challenge. I expected another boring, Jane Eyre-like romance that would be a slog to get through. I was wrong. What I got was a roiling romance that, surprisingly, ended unhappily. Or maybe it did have a happy ending. The main character was given two alternatives: stability or excitement (I'm reducing to the extreme here). The conclusion impressed me so much that it gave the book a place on my list.

Alamut – Vladimir Bartol

If I was forced to rank this list, Alamut would appear darn near the top. It gives a somewhat fictionalized portrayal of the birth of the assassin order in what is now Iran. More broadly, it gives a view into how faith can be weaponized. To vastly oversimplify the plot, the leader of Alamut has deceived a large group of religious devotees into believing he has the God-given powers to allow followers to ascend directly into heaven upon death in the line of duty. In doing so, he creates a fearless set of soldiers that will willingly sacrifice themselves to accomplish his goals.

Behold The Man – Michael Moorcock

This is a short book. I was able to read it in a day. Nevertheless, it was interesting. It's about a time traveler with some serious mental troubles who decided to try and find the historical Jesus. The machine breaks upon arrival, and what follows is his journey of discovery and eventual realization of what he must do. I'm a sucker for these kinds of time travel stories, and this was one of the good ones.

The Billion Dollar Spy – David E. Hoffman

A coworker and I have a certain understanding: we have very different tastes, so we "recommend" books we dislike to each other. This book was the one exception to that rule. We both ended up liking it. It was weird. Anyway, the book tells the tale of Adolf Tolkachev, a spy working against the Soviets during the Cold War. It was a very impressive overview of espionage tradecraft and the hoops agents have to jump through to give information.

The Birth of Satan – TJ Wray and Gregory Mobley

I picked up this book after watching the 43alley YouTube video about the subject, and I have to say this is one of my favourite books concerning religious history. It chronicles the concept of Satan from its original, generic Jewish roots through to the proper-noun personification of evil that currently exists in the minds of many. It's an amazing insight into how something as stubborn as religious thought can change over time.

The Crusades Through Arab Eyes – Amin Maalouf

This one gives a fascinating view into how Euro-centric a lot of literature about the Crusades is presented. I always understood it as: four major crusades (of varying levels of success), three lesser crusades no one cares about, and that's about it. Instead, the view is flipped around as a more-or-less constant barbaric invasion force that takes a backseat compared to the rising threat from the east.

Dave Barry's Money Secrets – Dave Barry

Dave Barry is my favourite author, and if I didn't limit this list to one book per author, it'd be dominated by his literary masterpieces. He is the only author that can consistently make me laugh out loud with his writing. This one is probably my favourite, but it's so darn hard to choose!

The Great Theft – Khaled Abou El Fadl

If I had to recommend an introduction to Islam for someone, I'd offer this book above any other generic "Introduction To" books. The first half gives an overview of the religion in an approachable way, while the back half explains, from the author's point of view, the modern rise of extremism. It blows away all manners of stereotypes and assumptions, and reminds everyone that people are people.

How To Lie With Statistics – Darrell Huff

Do you ever feel like the news and politicians are lying to you? You're probably right. And this book goes over exactly how they do it. For a book written well over 50 years ago, it's still just as relevant today. It certainly made me pay way more attention to graphs and charts than I normally would've.

Jesus, Interrupted – Bart Ehrman

The Bible is not the wholesome, consistent book folks like to think it is. Jesus, Interrupted goes over several of the glaring inconsistencies in the New Testament stories that can only come from reading them critically. Mind, the author isn't trying to disprove God, or force atheism down anyone's throat. He's just writing about them, and leaving everything else as an exercise for the reader. I've read several of Ehrman's books, but this one is definitely my favourite of the lot.

The Jungle – Upton Sinclair

Even if the story is heavy-handed, this book did much to convince me that my left-leaning political outlook is probably for the best. It regularly comes to mind whenever I hear people saying that the free market will solve everyone's problems.

Jurassic Park – Michael Crichton

For the longest time, Michael Crichton was my favourite author (Dave Barry has since supplanted him). His thriller novels, while completely silly, sound just scientific enough that you suspend your disbelief and enjoy the ride. Jurassic Park (now a major motion picture from Universal!) is the best example of this. I mean, a theme park with cloned dinosaurs sounds absurd. But it gets explained well enough that you start to believe it. It's very engrossing, and that's why I love it.

The Martian – Andy Weir

I picked this book up shortly after hearing about the movie. Sure enough, it deserves all the praise it gets. It was funny, immersive, and cleverly written. I love the way it bounces between serious storytelling and light-hearted diary entries. It's like a love letter to science and wonder, and I feel like the world truly needed something like that.

The Time Traveler's Wife – Audrey Niffenegger

This is my favourite book. I know this list isn't ranked or anything, but this is The One. It has comedy, romance, suspense, time travel! It has everything going right for it. I think I may give it another read next year.

1984 – George Orwell

Do I even need to describe this one? Everyone already knows about this book. It's awesome. Look, I'm tired and don't feel like writing any more. Give me a break, here.

Otakon 2015

Dawn of the First Day - 72 Hours Remain

Stab, stab, stab

Something about this guy really bugged me

Bringing the pro-PAIN!

Are you squidding me?

The hero you want on your side when you have a body that needs to disappear

Jimbo's Anime Season - Spring 2015

My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU TOO!
a.k.a. Making Anime Titles is Hard
Genre: political drama (okay, not really)

The character in the foreground is technically walking toward the side,
but it sure doesn't seem like it when this frame is taken out of context.

Okay, maybe I'm making fun of the title too much. Maybe it's because it's in English. According to Google Translate, the Japanese title is more along the lines of "Again my youth romantic comedy is wrong. Continue". Well, it doesn't really change the fact that the title is basically the genre. Oh sure, they claim it's wrong, or that situation normal is all fncked up, but if we're all honest we can admit that it's a romantic comedy anyway.

Putting aside the title, I'm liking the series. I enjoyed the first season and was surprised to see a second. Usually for these types of things they'll make one season and then abandon it. I'm glad they decided to continue this one. The characters have interesting personalities without being overwhelming. Meanwhile, the conflicts and goals between them seem deeper than the veneer of comedy lets on.

Nisekoi:
a.k.a. No More Mr. Nisekoi Colon
Genre: romcom

Thankfully, this series has no shortage of silly faces.

Again with the title shenanigans? Seriously, what does the colon even mean? Are anime series just too cool to use numbers? Or, hell, just use the same name from the first season. People will realize that it's a new season when they see it and say, "hey, new episodes!"

Anyway, this is season two, and in traditional harem-comedy style, each episode is a loosely connected crisis that seems to slightly advance the plot while, in fact, not moving anywhere. While I do find the characters fun, I am kinda hoping this will be the last season. It's good and all, but lets put this series to bed before it overstays its welcome.

My Love Story!!
a.k.a. My Love Story Exclamation Point Exclamation Point
Genre: romcom

Pop quiz: Which character do you think is the main character?

That's two exclamation points in the title. Two. You'd think this was a second season of the series. But you would be wrong. This is the first season. First world anarchists right here.

I actually started reading the manga before I even learned an anime series was coming out. Admittedly, the story is really dumb, but it's just so darn adorable. It's the aspartame of anime series. Sure, it'll probably give me cancer, but it's so delicious that I've convinced myself I'm okay with it.

Disappearance of Nagato Yuki-chan
a.k.a. Hey, Still Technically Better than Endless Eight
Genre: romcom

The money shot

How can you betray me like this? Yuki Nagato is my favourite anime character of all time. Of all time. She was a calm and cool badass with effective omniscience and omnipotence.

This "Yuki Nagato" is not that. Now she's just a boring, bespectacled library girl. I mean, I know the external circumstances to this scenario's existence (see The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya), but that doesn't make things any less dull. I feel like this series would've been a complete non-starter if it wasn't riding on the (admittedly flagging) popularity of the Haruhi Suzumiya franchise.

On the bright side, this series may usher in a new wave of Yuki Nagato collectibles, which I whole-heartedly endorse.

Best Games Ever

Title	Console	Release Year	Genre
Meteos	DS	2005	Puzzle
Advance Wars: Dual Strike	DS	2005	Strategy
Kirby's Adventure	NES	1993	Platformer
Sky Kid	NES	1987	Shooter
Super Mario Bros. 3	NES	1990	Platformer
Yoshi's Cookie	NES	1993	Puzzle
Mega Man 4	NES	1994	Platformer
Balloon Fight	NES	1986	Platformer
Amplitude	PS2	2003	Music
Dark Cloud 2	PS2	2003	RPG
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City	PS2	2002	Action
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas	PS2	2004	Action
Guitar Hero II	PS2	2006	Music
Ico	PS2	2001	Adventure
Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy	PS2	2001	Platformer
Kingdom Hearts II	PS2	2005	RPG
Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil	PS2	2001	Platformer
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater	PS2	2004	Action
Okami	PS2	2006	Adventure
Harvest Moon: Back to Nature	PSX	1999	Simulation
Pokemon: Red/Blue	GB	1998	RPG
Pokemon: Silver/Gold	GB	2000	RPG
Kirby's Dream Land 2	GB	1995	Platformer
Kirby's Block Ball	GB	1996	Puzzle
Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages	GBC	2001	Adventure
Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town	GBA	2003	Simulation
Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap	GBA	2005	Adventure
Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility	Wii	2008	Simulation
Kirby's Return to Dream Land	Wii	2011	Platformer
Super Mario Galaxy	Wii	2007	Platformer
Super Smash Bros. Brawl	Wii	2008	Fighter
Animal Crossing	GCN	2002	Simulation
Harvest Moon: Magical Melody	GCN	2005	Simulation
Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess	GCN	2006	Adventure
Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker	GCN	2003	Adventure
Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes	GCN	2004	Action
Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door	GCN	2004	RPG
Super Smash Bros. Melee	GCN	2001	Fighter
Tales of Symphonia	GCN	2004	RPG
Mario Kart: Double Dash	GCN	2003	Racing
Pikmin 2	GCN	2004	Strategy
Pikmin	GCN	2001	Strategy
Mario Kart 8	WiiU	2014	Racing
Super Mario 3D World	WiiU	2013	Platformer
Super Smash Bros. for Wii U	WiiU	2014	Fighter
Alice: Madness Returns	Xbox 360	2011	Platformer
Grand Theft Auto V	Xbox 360	2013	Action
Rayman Origins	Xbox 360	2011	Platformer
Red Dead Redemption	Xbox 360	2010	Action
Tomb Raider	Xbox 360	2013	Action
Pokemon Snap	N64	1999	Simulation
Mario Tennis	N64	2000	Sports
Perfect Dark	N64	2000	Shooter
Super Smash Bros.	N64	1999	Fighter
Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time	N64	1998	Adventure
Super Mario 64	N64	1996	Platformer
GoldenEye 007	N64	1997	Shooter
Star Wars: Rogue Squadron	N64	1998	Flying
Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask	N64	2000	Adventure
Harvest Moon 64	N64	1999	Simulation
Banjo-Kazooie	N64	1998	Platformer
Banjo-Tooie	N64	2000	Platformer
Paper Mario	N64	2001	RPG
Shadowgate 64: Trials of the Four Towers	N64	1999	Adventure
Assassin's Creed	PS3	2007	Action
Assassin's Creed II	PS3	2009	Action
Batman: Arkham Asylum	PS3	2009	Action
BioShock	PS3	2007	Shooter
Just Cause 2	PS3	2010	Action
Saints Row 2	PS3	2008	Action
Tales of Xillia	PS3	2013	RPG
Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag	PS4	2013	Adventure
Infamous: Second Son	PS4	2014	Action
Dragon Age: Inquisition	PS4	2014	RPG
Animal Crossing: New Leaf	3DS	2012	Simulation
Fire Emblem Awakening	3DS	2013	RPG
Harvest Moon 3D: A New Beginning	3DS	2012	Simulation
Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds	3DS	2013	Adventure
Pokemon X/Y	3DS	2013	RPG
Shantae: Risky's Revenge	DS	2010	Platformer
Luftrausers	PC	2014	Flying
Omerta: City of Gangsters	PC	2013	Simulation
Psychonauts	PC	2005	Platformer
Worms 2	PC	1997	Strategy
Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold	PC	1993	Shooter
SimCity 2000	PC	1994	Simulation
Riven	PC	1997	Adventure
Unreal Tournament	PC	1999	Shooter
Age of Empires II	PC	1999	Strategy
Anno 2070	PC	2011	Strategy
Banished	PC	2014	Simulation
Child of Light	PC	2014	RPG
Crusader Kings II	PC	2012	Strategy
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim	PC	2011	RPG
Goat Simulator	PC	2014	Simulation
Mount & Blade: Warband	PC	2010	Action
Patrician III	PC	2003	Simulation
Reus	PC	2013	Simulation
Rise of Nations	PC	2003	Strategy
Sid Meier's Civilization V	PC	2010	Strategy
The Stanley Parable	PC	2013	Adventure
Team Fortress 2	PC	2007	Shooter
Tropico 5	PC	2014	Simulation
SimCity 3000	PC	1999	Simulation
SimCity 4	PC	2003	Simulation
Star Wars Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast	PC	2002	Shooter
Tropico	PC	2001	Simulation
Sid Meier's Civilization IV	PC	2005	Strategy
Mass Effect	PC	2007	RPG
Mass Effect 2	PC	2010	RPG
Mass Effect 3	PC	2012	RPG
The Sims	PC	2000	Simulation
The Sims 2	PC	2004	Simulation
The Sims 3	PC	2009	Simulation
The Sims 4	PC	2014	Simulation
1701 A.D.	PC	2006	Simulation
F.E.A.R.	PC	2005	Shooter
BioShock Infinite	PC	2013	Shooter
Black & White 2	PC	2005	Simulation
Cities in Motion	PC	2011	Simulation
Dear Esther	PC	2012	Adventure
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion	PC	2006	RPG
Portal	PC	2007	Puzzle
Portal 2	PC	2011	Puzzle
The Wolf Among Us	PC	2013	Adventure
Wolfenstein: The New Order	PC	2014	Shooter
XCOM: Enemy Unknown	PC	2012	Strategy
Sonic the Hedgehog 2	Genesis	1992	Platformer
Sonic & Knuckles	Genesis	1994	Platformer
Garfield: Caught in the Act	Genesis	1995	Platformer
Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster's Hidden Treasure	Genesis	1993	Platformer
Boogerman	Genesis	1994	Platformer
Secret of Mana	SNES	1993	RPG
Super Mario World	SNES	1990	Platformer
Super Return of the Jedi	SNES	1994	Action

[full spreadsheet]

Top 10 Games of 2014

10. Infamous: Second Son

I don't really have much to say about this game. I bought it, played it, and then put it away. I had fun with it, but ultimately felt no real desire to go back and play it again. If I could do it all over again, I would just rent this one.

9. Goat Simulator

I agonized a little bit adding this one to the list, since it isn't so much a game as it is a big dicking-around simulator. It's basically a joke. Yet, for reasons that I cannot quantifiably justify, I continue to have a ton of fun just bouncing around, exploring, destroying scenery, and figuring out new ways to make things even more absurd. I mean, one of the most recent things I did was build a goat with the power to spin up a tornado and arbitrarily spawn sperm whales. Afterward, I started tearing through town surrounded by a whale vortex (see screenshot).

8. Mario Kart 8

This eighth entry in the series has probably become my second favourite. Double Dash is still the best, but this one is fun enough that I can see myself playing it for quite a while. Plus, it features the princesses in skin-tight motorcycle suits. I think I need a cold shower...

7. Banished

I was pleasantly surprised by this game. To greatly oversimplify things, it's a city-building sim. However, it has a much greater focus on survival. Your charges can't return to where they came from (hence the name), so it's up to you to ensure they have enough food, fuel, and shelter to survive the brutal seasons. My only real issue is that the late-game becomes nearly impossible. The AI isn't bright enough to decide that claiming a house and claiming a job on opposite sides of the map isn't a good idea in the icy winter. Once your city becomes large enough, this becomes a very big issue.

6. Super Smash Bros for Wii U

Seriously, what am I going to say here? It's a new Smash Bros game. Of course it's good. It even has Rosalina in it. What more could you want?

5. Dragon Age: Inquisition

I have to admit, I almost didn't buy this one. I thought the first Dragon Age was boring. And though I did enjoy the second game, it left much to be desired in the story department. Fortunately, the newest game in the series solved all of the problems. The story was amazing, and it went something like this: you become the leader of a worldwide inquisition with the purpose of eternally and justly collecting more elfroot. You can never have enough of this plant gathered and it is your job, dear leader, to collect it. Oh, there are also some fun characters and other stuff going on in the background, but whatever.

4. Tropico 5

Tropico is an amazing game series. It has solid gameplay and a hilarious sense of humour. I must admit, however, that I felt the gameplay was starting to stagnate. It didn't play much better than the original game all of those years ago. Thankfully, the gods heard my melancholy and graced the world with the newest and greatest game in the series. It cleared up almost every annoyance with the old games, while still keeping the core gameplay intact. It wasn't even a Faustian bargain. The improvements were not offset by the inclusion of nonsensical new features that nobody asked for! My only regret is that Miss Pineapple did not make as many appearances. Oh well, I suppose I can hold out hope for the Mistress Pineapple DLC.

3. Child of Light

People who know me know that I generally dislike RPGs. For an RPG to make it onto my Top 10, and even make it to the No. 3 spot, says something about this game. I find myself comparing it to Paper Mario (in my opinion, one of the greatest games ever made). It has a small cast of fascinating characters, a story that is both simple and complex, and just the right pacing that doesn't make it feel like a grind. And, might I add, it is jaw-droppingly pretty. The UbiArt framework is an amazing tool and I hope to see more coming out of it.

2. Wolfenstein: The New Order

When I first purchased this game, I expected it to be a dumb shooter where you ran around shooting Nazis. "Can never kill enough Nazis," I thought. Instead, I found one of the deepest and most immersive games I've ever played. The scenes that play out in front of you are both sickening and frightening, and you feel yourself, as a player, wanting revenge against the people who did these things to you and your virtual comrades. Even the stealth sections, the bane of most run-and-gun shooters, is handled well. Even if you screw it up, you can just say "oh well" and mow enemies down with a minigun without being significantly punished.

1. Luftrausers

This game hits the perfect sweet spot between simplicity and frustration. Its controls are so plain that they can probably be mapped to an NES controller with a few of the buttons missing. Playing the game, though, has that fun arcade feeling to it. You start from scratch every time and just fly around shooting at things while trying to not get things shot at you. Easier said than done, obviously. A lot of things really want to shoot at you, and it only gets worse as time progresses. But every time you play, you want to see if you can surpass your previous playthrough. It gets addicting as your body fills with vengeful fervour until you want to mentally crush every battleship and ace jet you see. Oh, and don't get me start on SFMT mode, this game's unlockable "hard" difficulty. That just takes NES levels of difficulty and multiplies it by 100 units of pure bullshit. Nevertheless, this game is amazing, and I will probably continue playing well outside of 2014.

Honorable Mentions:

Harvest Moon: The Lost Valley

Natsume's first foray into making a Harvest Moon game from scratch was commendable, but suffered slightly from grating controls and pacing issues.

Team Fortress 2

This one is disqualified because it, technically, came out in 2007. Damned if it wasn't the game I played most in 2014, though.

Broken Age

An immersive point-and-click adventure that somehow managed to not suffer from the deadly curse of adventure game logic. Sadly, it was disqualified for being unceremoniously chopped in half into two(?) episodes.

Game of Thrones

(the Telltale Games game)
Wow, this was amazingly engaging and brutal, but must be disqualified for the year because only one episode was released for it. Better luck next year, guys!

The Sims 4

The newest Sims game plays well and all, but it just feels ridiculously oversimplified from the previous entries. At least the character models look better. I might even make some non-lesbian sims this time! (Haha, who am I kidding?)