Top 10 Games of 2018

Yeah, 2018 was alright, I guess.

Gris by JellyEnvy

10. Detroit: Become Human

This game is a mixed bag. It is a story-driven, choose-your-own-adventure with some unique gimmicks that break it from the crowd. For one, it's not a visual novel, so it receives lots of bonus points for requiring less reading than a 200-level English literature class. It also shows each of your decisions in an all-inclusive flowchart, displaying percentages of players that chose each of the available options. It was very refreshing to see that, in some spots, not all of humanity was transparently evil.

The story follows three robot characters as they navigate and make decisions on how to live their life in a pseudo-Apartheid society. Unfortunately, only two of the storylines are interesting. Painter-bot and Detective-bot had very insightful and intertwined plots, but Housewife-bot was a complete downer and barely connected with the overall picture.

I also had difficulty playing the game without constantly singing Kiss's Detroit Rock City.

9. Seers Isle

Seers Isle is another delightful game from the studio Nova-Box, the creators of another game I enjoyed: Along the Edge. Both games are choose-your-own-adventure types. You read through the stories, and, at key points, make decisions for your protagonist. Then, you immediately start second-guessing yourself, reload your save, and change your decision. This process repeats itself several times for every decision point until you finally say "f--- it", and just ride the wave as that one decision results in your favourite character dying a gruesome death.

The characters are interesting, the setting is beautiful, and the story is mysterious. A perfect mix for me to lose myself for a few hours.

8. Blossom Tales: The Sleeping King

I acknowledge that this game technically released last year. However, since its Switch release was in December and I didn't play it until this year, I made the autocratic declaration to include it in the 2018 list.

Blossom Tales is, basically, a Link to the Past clone, and I mean that in the best possible way. It takes the exact same controls and gameplay, then places the player in a new world with a new set of items to collect. It also features a delightful framing device of an old grandpa telling the story of the game's protagonist to his grandchildren. It's sweet, and functionally exists to remind the player of where they were in the game since they last played.

It is also blessedly short. It's sometimes nice, in my busy life of rampant decadence, to play a game I can see through to completion in a single weekend.

7. Spider-Man

This game is amazing when you get to play as Spider-Man!

This game sucks when you get to play as anyone other than Spider-Man!

6. Ni No Kuni 2

Ni No Kuni 2 is best summed up by its opening cinematic. The president of the United States is riding to a UN meeting when a nuclear device detonates, blows up the city, and kills him. The president then awakens in a magical fantasy land, and decides to help a small, furry child form a new hereditary dictatorship after a coup overthrows the kid's royal father.

5. Unavowed

I believe it was a Rock Paper Shotgun review that turned me toward Unavowed. I don't remember the exact phrasing, but they said something along the lines of "if your favourite part of Mass Effect was listening to banter between squadmates, then you will like Unavowed." By golly, they were right! They took that model (interesting characters talking about current situations) and put it into a point-and-click adventure that, thankfully, does not sink into the mire of convoluted adventure game logic.

Don't get to bang any of the NPCs, though. Gotta dock some points for that.

4. Pokemon: Let's Go Eevee

Eevee is adorable. The next game can just be Pokemon: Oops! All Eevee, and I would be okay with that.

3. Stonehearth

Fun fact: I actually helped Kickstart this game back during the Harding administration. After all these decades, the game had a formal release this year, and I succeeded in sinking several otherwise productive weekends into it.

2. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Daisy is in Smash. All is right with the world.

1. Gris

 

I cannot think of a game I felt more entranced by in 2018. As soon as I started, I did not want to stop playing Gris. It is a visual marvel to behold. The character motion is smooth and dreamlike. The world designs are distinct. The soundtrack is beautiful. Everything about it enveloped my senses and pulled me into this otherwise simplistic platformer. As I write this paragraph, I'm thinking about sitting down and playing through it again.

Don't get to bang any of the NPCs, though. Gotta dock some points for that.

A Trip to the Grocery Store

I was on the verge of having an aneurysm during my trip to the grocery store this morning. Every part of the journey frustrated me.

It began with the trip there. I needed to travel a little further this time, since my standard food outlet doesn't carry the requisite alcohol for the stew I'm cooking this week. All well and good. Unfortunately, the gods decided the extra distance would be an excellent opportunity to test my patience, as I needed to stop for every… single… stoplight.

When the lights finally deigned to turn green, the drivers in front of me completely forgot how gas pedals work. After a few presidential administrations of me losing my mind, those cars eventually got up to speed, which was approximately five miles under the speed limit, by their reckoning. This resulted, of course, in all of us missing the next traffic light. I could feel the grey hairs forming when I finally reached the grocery store and parked.

Filling the shopping cart was blessedly uneventful. I was cooling down from the ride when I finally reached the checkout line. Naturally, only two lanes were open, so the lines were, at a conservative estimate, thirty miles long. I squeaked my cart to the end of the queue somewhere in Azerbaijan and hunkered down for a long wait. By the time I caught sight of a cashier, I was wizened and malnourished.

My natural impatience was compounding the annoyance from the commute a lifetime ago, but I was finally here. The promised land. The conveyor was within my reach. I was fully prepared to begin unloading my cart, but the lady directly in front of me was very busy leaning against the end, blocking all access. I was going to say something, but my stiff upper lip precluded any formation of actual words with my mouth. I remained silent, and waited. Employing the sunk cost fallacy, I rationalized "what's a few more hours of waiting?"

Then, the lady in front of the lady in front of me did something I am still incapable of grokking. As the cashier was processing her five-hundred shopping carts' worth of goods, she looked over her kingdom and decided that two bottles of Pine-Sol was too extravagant. Rather than hand it to the cashier and say something along the lines of "I don't need this," like some kind of human being, she picks it up and tosses it into one of the hand baskets someone left under the conveyor belt. I leaned against my cart, agog at what I just witnessed. What did she think that basket did? Teleport the goods back to the shelf? Melt the cleaner into its constituent atoms for future integration into the universe? Provide a path to Narnia? Such was the depth of my incomprehension at this middle-aged Hispanic lady's action that I was shouting in my head, "that's it lady! Get me a pillow case! I'm joinin' the Klan!"

At last, my time had come. The cashier began beeping through my future purchases. Being the savvy and caring shopper I am, I already had my reusable grocery bags ready and waiting. I have four, a number which has never failed to comfortably carry a standard week's worth of groceries. In a shockingly blatant display of black magic, the cashier somehow fit all of my groceries into two ultra-dense bags. I was legitimately worried those bags would collapse into a singularity if I added even a single candy bar. I was fully prepared to provide testimony against her in a future witch-burning trial.

I was glad to finally turn my back to the store, but I still wasn't home yet. The ride home broke every last thread of human decency and rational thought. There was a driver in front of me. A very slow driver. I was fairly certain he or she was training to achieve their lifelong dream of being the lead car in a Macy's Day Parade. This car was taking the exact same route as me, down to entering the same apartment complex, so I was stuck behind this car for the entire trip. I'm pretty sure I didn't get home until just before the heat death of the universe.

As I was putting my groceries away, I learned that one of my eggs broke in transit.

I've been curled up crying in the shower for the last five hours.

Top 10 Games of 2017

This has been the Year of Not Enough Time. I have a huge pile of games that I haven't had the chance to play (Wolfenstein 2, Pyre, Neir: Automata, &c.). I have another, similarly sized pile of games I haven't had the chance to finish (Assassin's Creed Origins, Hollow Knight, Tales of Berseria, &c.). 2017 was busy. In spite of that, it was a good year for video games. Here is my Top 10 for 2017.

10. Sonic Mania

It has been a long time, but Sega finally decided to listen to fans and let Sonic return to formula; Sonic Mania is just as fast and fun as Sonic games of yore. Unfortunately, by sticking too close to the source material, it drags in one of the biggest flaws of yesterday that modern games have grown out of: an obsolete lives system. I think back to Rayman Origins and Super Mario Odyssey that did away with the concept of extra lives, resulting in games that flow better and are far less frustrating to play when your time is crunched.

9. Divinity: Original Sin 2

I am starting to warm to modern CRPGs. I confess to not being a fan of older CRPGs, but sometimes the new ones hit the sweet spot. Divinity: OS2 is one of those games. The characters were fascinating, and the choices felt like they mattered. The downside is the game's bugginess, particularly in the late game. It didn’t break the game, but the bugs certainly pulled me out of it.

8. Tales of Berseria

The Tales of series is hit-or-miss for me. I either love them or hate them. This one happened to fall in the "love" column. It adds a nice spin to the standard JRPG formula by making the player characters, ostensibly, the bad guys. It is more intriguing than I anticipated. On the other hand, a lot of them sound like the kind of characters that would come out of an 11-year-old's fanfic. "I'm a loose cannon on a quest for revenge with my demon's left hand!" "I'm a pirate captain; call me The Reaper." "I'm a samurai that will never unsheathe my sword until I meet my True Rival." It's all very cringe-worthy.

7. Mass Effect: Andromeda

I know Mass Effect: Andromeda gets a lot of crap, but I feel it is undeserved. I think its biggest fault is that it has to compare itself to the might of the original Mass Effect trilogy. I, personally, see it in a better light when I compare it to the original Mass Effect. Neither game was perfect, but they were still fun, and set an amazing stage for future adventures. I can only hope EA doesn't scrap it entirely, but builds off of the groundwork, as they did with Mass Effect 2.

6. Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice

I am only about half-way through this game, but everything I have seen so far is amazing. Steam lists it as an action game, but I consider it more of a walking simulator with occasional fighting. You walk through an absolutely beautiful world filled with death and despair. Adding to that is the main character's psychosis, which the load screen appropriately recommends experiencing with quality headphones. It all adds to a truly spooky experience that never resorts to cheap jump scares.

5. Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle

This game earns Biggest Surprise of 2017. When I first saw the marketing material for a game mixing Mario with Rayman's annoying, minion-like rabbids, I shook my head in disgust. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken us?" Lo and behold, the game came out, and it was amazing. It is a deep, but not crushingly deep, strategy game that gives you just enough challenge to make you think, but not so much that you quit in frustration. All they need to do for perfection is ditch the rabbids altogether and just make it a Mario game. Please and thank you, Ubisoft.

4. Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Well now, this game has won nearly every award ever created by mankind. When I glance at the roughly 145 hours I have clocked in the game, I can sort of understand. It is an amazing world to explore and goof around in. However, I don't feel it is the Second Coming of Jesus that many reviewers are declaring. It took me a while to rationalize my feelings, but I eventually come to this conclusion: Breath of the Wild is more a tool for relaxing than for explicitly having fun. There is something calming about exploring the world, but I never found myself waiting anxiously for the next moment I could steal a chance to play. A more appropriate expression would be, "oh, I have a little bit of free time, let me squeeze in a few minutes with Zelda." There's nothing wrong with that, mind you, but it does prevent it from climbing any higher on this list.

3. Assassin’s Creed Origins

It seems Ubisoft's little vacation from the Assassin's Creed series was a good decision. This world is big, and, most importantly, worth exploring. Like Skyrim, there is reason to go off the beaten path and explore various nooks and crannies. The new Ancient Egypt setting is also extremely fascinating. I often find myself walking around and just looking at all the stuff going on in the background. Farmers moving water from trenches, merchants peddling their wares, birds flying around a lily-filled river. It is all very pretty to look at. I am truly looking forward to the upcoming Tourism Mode DLC Ubisoft announced.

2. Super Mario Odyssey

I don't know how Nintendo does it, but they just know how to distill fun into a pure, addictive substance. Super Mario Odyssey is basically a perfect game, and mandates the purchase of a Switch.

1. Hollow Knight

Hollow Knight finally forced me to admit that maybe, just maybe, not all metroidvania games are trash. I am still not entirely sure how it did it. It could be the art style, which is simple yet hauntingly beautiful. It could be the tight controls that flow smoothly from movement to movement. It could be the amazing soundtrack that perfectly fits the setting. It could be the NPCs that are funny and interesting, but never annoying. Maybe it is a combination of everything. Whatever black magic Team Cherry used, Hollow Knight is one of the greatest platformers I have ever played in a long time.

Honorable Mentions

Pokemon: Gold

I played this game a lot when it released for the 3DS, but I must sadly disqualify it for technically being released in 2000.

Stardew Valley

I played this game a lot when it released for the Switch, but I must sadly disqualify it for technically being released in 2016.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

I played this game a lot when it released for the Switch, but I must sadly disqualify it for technically being released in 2011.

Dear Esther: Landmark Edition

I played this game a lot when it released a Landmark Edition on Steam, but I must sadly disqualify it for technically being released in 2012.

If You Had To Pick a Song...

"You are held at gunpoint and forced to recite a song from memory. If you mess up even a single word, you get shot."

Recently, I saw a Facebook post that went something along those lines.

Most of the answers I saw were sensible ones: the national anthem, nursery rhymes, etc. I thought, "nah, that's not me." Here are some of my alternatives.

Smells Like Teen Spirit – Nirvana
If nobody knows the words, they can't prove I'm wrong!

I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
Make them break their vow. Sure, I know all the words, but they'll shoot me anyway just to end my awful singing.

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk
The song only has, like, fifteen words. Clarify with the gunman if we only need to know the words, or if the demand requires knowing their order and timing.

All Star – Smash Mouth
No child of the 90s could go more than thirty minutes in their childhood without hearing this song playing somewhere. It's basically engraved in our DNA at this point.

Dragostea din Tei - O-Zone
Why die a nobody, when you can die a meme?

2112 – Rush
We'll see if they have a full twenty minutes to spare.

Nothing
This one is a trick. I keep asking them to clarify the rules until help arrives. Does it have to be a song in English? How long does the song have to be? Where will I get shot? The goal is to stall for time.

End of the World – REM
How about giving me a real challenge, scrub?

Top 15 Games of 2016

In spite of all adversity, 2016 ended up being a good year for video games. Every year, I jot down a list of games I thought were really good, and most years I have to struggle to fill out a Top 10 list. 2016 was the exception. By the end of December, I had so many titles on my crumpled up piece of paper that I needed to expand my list to 15. For those that are outraged, just skip to number 10; you can just pretend it was a Top 10 list all along.

* Games I have not seen through to, at least, story completion.

15. Obduction*

Remember Myst? Remember the vastly superior Riven? Remember the forgettable Myst III? Remember purging all memory of subsequent Myst games from your brain? The reason I unsubtly bring those up is because Obduction is basically one of those point-and-click adventure games from yesteryear. It has that same feeling of being dropped in a strange new world with nothing but your wits and a mouse pointer to guide you. It is a lot of fun... for a while. I have to admit that the ye olde playstyle has not aged well, and the frustration of having to backtrack because you could not find one stupid lever you had to pull to advance has not lessened. I got pretty far into the game, and enjoyed my time doing so, but I doubt I'll ever come back and finish it off.

14. Mafia III*

I heard several complaints about Mafia III being derivative and samey, and there is some merit to that. However, there are times when that is exactly what I want. Give me a game that features the same kind of gameplay I like, while giving it a new setting and coat of paint. It is basically a Grand Theft Auto game set it in the abrasive deep south of the 1960's, and that's just fine! The Grand Theft Auto series is one of the greatest game series of all time, and playing another one of those under a different title is okay in my book, even if The Simpsons did it already.

13. Amplitude

I'm a huge fan of the original Amplitude for the Playstation 2 (in spite of the fact that my original copy was burgled about a year ago). This new game, using the same name for some reason, is more of what is expected: fun and fast-based rhythm gameplay to foot-tapping music. The only thing that kept this game from being higher on the list is the lack of well-known licensed music. Unlike its predecessor, there's no David Bowie, Herbie Hancock, or Run-DMC in this game. It's disappointing. But, hey, at least Freezepop is back!

12. Final Fantasy XV*

I played several Final Fantasy games over the years, but never cared enough for any of them to see through to completion. This one, however, (15, for those counting at home) may be the exception. Admittedly, I have not finished this one either (there's only so much time in a day), but now that the designers have ditched their lame pseudo-turn-based combat system, I might actually enjoy myself enough to see it through.

This games feels much more character-heavy, and I appreciate that. Modern Final Fantasy games have such convoluted storylines, that I have a hard time losing myself in them. By focusing more on the characters – the BFFs Noctis, Prompto, Gladiolus, and Ignis – this game might actually hold my interest long enough to slog through the long runtime.

Unlike most western RPGs, there isn't much freedom of choice in this game. That may be for the best. I know if I had too much choice, I'd probably end up: giving Noctis a comb, given Gladiolus and epic Norwegian death beard, giving Prompto a bullet in the head, and giving Ignis a ring so he'll be my guy-waifu 4ever xoxo

11. Shantae: ½-Genie Hero*

Fun fact: I helped Kickstart this game, so I got it for free! I enjoy the Shantae series and its more laid-back Metroidvania style gameplay. This game even improves upon the formula by giving a world map to jump back and forth between levels, reducing some of the frustration from the series' love of backtracking.

10. Pokémon Sun

The latest entry in the Pokémon series is a true breath of fresh air that it sorely needed. For decades now, each Pokémon game was a carbon copy of the other: defeat eight gym leaders, defeat an evil organization for some reason, defeat the Elite Four. There was some variation with new features that ranged from useless to mostly useless (e.g. growing berries, mega-evolutions, etc.), but the core formula stayed the same.

Pokémon Sun (and, presumably, Pokémon Moon) finally changed the formula. There are no more gym leaders! The player character actually has a reason for defeating the evil organization! It has an actual plot! Okay, it still has an Elite Four for some utterly contrived reason, but at least you get a sweet throne to sit in after finally kicking all of their butts! Pokémon Sun reinvigorated my interest in the series by making it feel new again, and I can only hope they continue this trend.

9. Oxenfree

Ostensibly, Oxenfree is a horror game. For me, it wasn't scary as much as it was a mind-fuck (pardon my language). A group of friends(?) get together on an old, abandoned island, and, lo and behold, spooky stuff starts happening. Unlike an average Scooby Doo episode, there is no predicting what happens next. Every playthrough is different based on choices made by you (or your character; it gets a little difficult to differentiate at times). Oxenfree is a unique experience, and I won't write another word for fear of spoiling anything. Go and play it.

8. XCOM 2

I am terrible at this game. Every mission saw me save-scumming almost every third turn. Every failure taught me a lesson, and I never made that same mistake again (instead, I made all new ones). But, gosh darn it, I was so invested in the story and my rag-tag team of rebels that I couldn't help playing it through to the end.

7. Tyranny

A lot of games pay lip service to the idea of player choice. "Your choices matter", the back-of-the-box marketing may claim. Tyranny is the first game I played that that actually felt true. You play the bad guy (though, not necessarily a bad guy). You are sent by totally-not-the-Dark-Lord-Sauron to conquer the last remaining stronghold of freedom and liberty. The choices you make to take over the lands are weighty, and there is seldom a "good" response. And each choice made weighs on future choices in a very satisfying chain of events. For example, I think I tested out of an entire chapter and boss battle by presenting a solid case in a court of law. Seriously.

6. Planet Coaster

Can I tell the world my dirty little secret? I never played a RollerCoaster Tycoon game beyond the first one. I don't know why, but I never got around to them. Thankfully, it seems like the official series went off the rails (ha!) in later installments. Planet Coaster is a RollerCoaster Tycoon game in all but name, so I figured it was as good a time as any to get back into the genre. You build and manage a theme park. That's it! Real-life hours just fly by! It's very dangerous.

5. Stellaris

It's a 4X game in space. That one sentence alone is enough to make my wallet fall open. Thankfully, Stellaris is one of the good ones.

4. Sid Meier's Civilization VI

It's a 4X game not in space. Maybe that's not enough to necessarily cause my wallet to fall open, but attaching Sid Meier's name to it certainly does. I have hundreds of hours logged in Civilization V (it's my second most played game on Steam!), and I see myself clocking even more with its sixth entry. For me, the Civilization games have always been about role-playing. I pick a civilization and try to put myself into their shoes. Can I conquer the seas as Japan? Can I blitzkrieg as a militaristic Gandhi? Can Poland into space? These are all questions I can answer!

3. Doom

Doom was a surprise. When I read reviews stating that Doom matched old-school gameplay with new-school graphics and polish, I was skeptical. It was too good to be true.

Well, it seems like someone prayed to Satan just right, because the singleplayer campaign of Doom was one of the most fun experiences I had in a shooter for a long time. The action is fast-paced, brutal, and satisfying. The soundtrack is beautiful and appropriate. The replayability is endless. I already beat all of the missions, and I still want to go back and replay them!

I haven't played the multiplayer, and, from what I read about it, I don't want to.

2. Overwatch

With Team Fortress 2 almost a decade old, and the idea of a Team Fortress 3 laughable, Blizzard decided to make their own class-based shooter. In their first new intellectual property in eons, they created an impressive game that helps melt away the hours. And that's just playing the game! Even more hours are lost while perusing the pages upon pages of high-quality Widowmaker/Tracer smut.

1. Stardew Valley

I wish I could include a Harvest Moon or Story of Seasons game on my list. I really do. But I can't. The two series, for me, have plateaued in mediocrity for the last several years. They just don't have the same spark they used to. Stardew Valley is a spiritual callback to these farming simulators and does everything right. It makes the farming more satisfying, and adds automation for late-game progression. It makes the characters and their stories deeper and more nuanced than Harvest/Seasons' twee archetypes. It makes achieving 100% completion difficult, but not impossible.

I always struggle to explain the appeal of farming games like these, but you have to trust me. Stardew Valley is deep and entertaining, and I fear it may've raised the bar impossibly high for future Harvest Moon games.

Honorable Mentions

Team Fortress 2

As much as it pains me to admit, Team Fortress 2 is dying. Recent updates have done little more than dilute the fun I had with the venerable shooter. Much of the blame for that is its attempt to compete with Overwatch. It just doesn't work. They're two different games, and they should've stayed that way. Oh well. It's still looking good for a game that's almost nine years old.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf ~Welcome amiibo~

The best Animal Crossing game got a free update that makes it even better. Now, by using amiibo cards available at many fine retailers, you can make sure your favorite villages can never, ever leave!

Farming Simulator 17

I wanted to add this game to my top list, but I had to disallow it since it's basically the same game as the version that came out in 2013.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – Special Edition –

As amazing as this game is, I had to exclude it because it, technically, came out in 2011.

The Witcher 3: Blood & Wine

I was so close to adding this expansion pack to my official list. It was just that amazingly good! But, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. As much as it felt like a whole new game, it was still just an addition to a game that came out in 2015.

Disney Infinity vs. amiibo

Just in case you were wondering what to get me for my birthday...

Which are bad? Neither
Which are good? Both, but for different reasons.

Disney Infinity

Disney Infinity, the game and all its sequels, sucks. It's fun for a little while, but its novelty quickly wears off as the grind for unlockables sets in (full disclaimer: I only ever played the first game, but it had such a negative effect on me that I've avoided the others). And that's the biggest fault for these things. They only work with one game series! You can buy all the figures you want, but none of them are going to work with your copy of Disney Princess: My FairyTale Adventure. No, not even Darth Vader.

On the other hand, the figures make for great collectibles. Whether Disney, Marvel, or Star Wars, they all share the same cartoony art style. This makes putting them all on display in one place less frustrating. They all have roughly the same form factor and look like they belong together. Pretty soon they might even deserve their own Ikea Detolf.

amiibo

Nintendo's amiibo don't work with just one game; they work with tons of games. Granted, they don't consistently work with games, but you generally guess which figures can work with which games. For example, the Mario amiibo works with every game ever made, while the R.O.B. amiibo just laughs at you and flashes a middle finger on the screen when attempting to use it. The point is, you get much more mileage with amiibo than with those Disney figures.

Each amiibo is made in the style of the game it's coming from. As a result, the designs vary significantly, much to their detriment. I look at my collection of them, and feel nothing but sadness at my attempts to make them look presentable. The Ganondorf has this realistic look that clashes horribly with Pac-Man's goofy look. Meanwhile, the Animal Crossing amiibo are just sitting there smugly being about 4/5ths of the others' size, ruining any kind of symmetry I might desire. And don't get me started on Link's column of piss. That's just nasty.

Top 10 Games of 2015

10. Splatoon

My reaction when making this list and admitting that I didn't like Splatoon
as much as I thought I did.

Splatoon was extremely fun for a while, but I got bored with it. I don't regret buying it, nor the time I spent with it, but at this point I don't see myself playing it much anymore. I do admit, however, that the inklings are absolutely adorable, and I'll probably purchase any and all merchandise that bears even a passing resemblance to them.

9. Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer

I know this game gets a lot of hate for basically being nothing more than a poor imitation of a normal Animal Crossing game, but I'm having a lot of fun with. I've been sitting here for several minutes trying to come up with a rational reason, yet I can't. There's no scoring. There're no achievements. There's no real goal, per se. All that it has is a strangely cathartic interiour design element where you design the homes you want to see.

8. Super Mario Maker

Pipes. I love pipes. I must've created about six decent levels based entirely around pipes. I don't know why. They just seem to make sense to me structurally. Anyway, where was I going with this? I dunno. Super Mario Maker is a lot of fun, even if other users don't use nearly enough pipes in their levels to be any good.

7. Big Pharma

I was pleasantly surprised by this little, indie puzzle game. All you do is build conveyor belts and make money selling drugs! Okay, sure, there are other things, but that's all that matters.

6. Story of Seasons

I always have a hard time when trying to describe this game. I keep starting with something along the lines of "it's a Harvest Moon game...", and then I trail off. That opening is both true and false, and that brings my brain to a screeching halt. It's a great game and all, but I don't know what to do without the Harvest Moon moniker these games used to carry.

5. Just Cause 3

This game does not mess around. It gives you a huge open world. It gives you a means of traversing the world in a quick and satisfying way. It gives you the means (several, in fact) of interacting with (i.e. destroying) that huge world. Why, just last night I had a right ol' good time destroying a huge open-pit mining facility. It was glorious.

4. Assassin's Creed: Syndicate

Probably the prettiest game on the list, Syndicate does an amazing job of rendering the shit-covered streets of Victorian London. It also marked itself as one of the good Assassin's Creed games by remembering that the plot in these games is always rubbish and fills in that gap with interesting, unique characters.

3. Fallout 4

I never really got into the Fallout series. I tried playing the classics, and even tried New Vegas, but none of them really clicked for me. That changed with Fallout 4. I blame the romance mechanic entirely. I'm such a sucker for those things.

2. The Witcher 3

Speaking of game series I never really liked, I could never lose myself in the first Witcher game. No amount of sexy romance collectible cards could fix extremely boring gameplay. Fortunately, The Witcher 3 was fun to play and explore. I frequently had no idea what was going on, plot-wise. But, I eventually pieced together a few salient points. Specifically, I need to rescue pseudo-daughter Ciri, Yennefer is completely unlikable, and Triss is, like, way hot.

1. Cities: Skylines

At last, the horrible drought is over! We have an actual successor to the godlike SimCity 4! Long may it reign!

Honourable Mentions:

Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain

Fun for a while, but a single, grating escort mission basically ruined the game for me. I haven't played it since.

Galactic Civilization 3

A dangerous game for the time-constrained, but it was so similar to its predecessor that I had a hard time losing myself in it.

Pillars of Eternity

A fun CRPG with interesting characters, but my overall distaste for CRPGs eventually won out, and I abandoned it.

Team Fortress 2

Sigh, once again, I have to acknowledge that, in spite of the hours I've poured into this game over the past year, it still came out all the way back in 2008.